Don’t fake an orgasm for a guy, let him know his dick game weak as hell
can we just take a moment and think about the time my dad accidentally made a fried egg that looked exactly like africa
i’m the most impressed by the fact the egg also has madagascar
— (via lohanthony)
fuck education who wants to start a band
your URL makes me suspicious of your intentions with this band.
— John Waters (via detailsdetales)
I had an IUD inserted today. They gave me meds to dilate my cervix and the cramps and such that followed were on par with contractions during child birth. I experienced child birth with no child, it was horrible. Idk how our species continues. Idk how women go through this more than once. I will not be having children. I have never been able to honestly say I was in agony, but today I could properly use that word. The insertion itself had four powerful cramps, but they ended pretty quickly. These cramps however have been going on for 7.5 hours. I’m so baffled that women give birth. It’s so horrible. To every mom out there you have my unwavering respect, my God you’re strong.
i need to date a girl with the initials AG so we can carve SW+AG on benches
Those r my mums initials…,
say hello to your new dad. i see that your tumblr blog contains some vulgar language. you’re grounded
When you realize that someone is only being nice to you because they want something